• I think it's a good start to a story. I like when stories have immediate character descriptions like this. Authors often wait a while to describe a character's appearance, and by that point I've imagined them to look completely different. I think it's a good opening because not only does the reader get physical characteristics right away, but we also know they are on their way to school without you having to actually say it. By the way, is Rachel wearing knee socks with her school outfit?
    • Mr Donnelly
      "Good morning Mr. Bumby," said Rachel. "Good morning Miss Pearson," Peter replied. "Mr. Bumby," said Rachel, "you look different today." "It's my new trousers," said Peter. "They're very smart. I like grey." "Thank you."

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