I apologize in advance if this question is offensive to anyone. It's comforting to go to the cemetery to pay your respects...where does one go to pay one's respects when a loved one has been cremated?
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RosieGHM Jetpacker
ANSWERS: 25
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If the ashes are scattered, the place where they were scattered is close enough. If they are in an urn, then go to where the urn is kept. My dad was cremated and I know where I scattered his ashed but its now hard to get to so I just think of him often, I look up to the sky and talk to him in my mind. I am comforted, quick easily!
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where the ashes are scattered or in a place that brings to mind memories of the loved one, eg a beach or meadow you commonly went to.
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I think the best place is somewhere that ment somthing to them or to both of you, just to sit quietly and remember the good times. Its not so much paying respects I guess, but its the way I do it.
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My parents were cremated. They never told anyone where they wanted their remains to go. (One of my uncles ashes were spread in the Atlantic Ocean by his sons) My sister found that there is a place in the local cemetary where the remains are placed in a wall, there is a placque with their names on it. It is at the back of the cemetary, with benches.
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It depends if they were scattered somewhere or in an urn. Go to either or.
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Go to where the ashes are if that is your feeling of comfort, I prefer a place that holds a special memory with that person. A park, stream or a lake you went fishing. Whether you are able to physically go there (thats the best) or in your mind.
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I scattered my dads ashes over his favourite part of the sea in our harbour so we can go out on the boat so it depends where the deceased person wanted to be scattered...:)
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You can pay your respects to the loved one in any way and in any place that is comforting to you. People go to the cemetery because there is a symbol there: the grave itself. It makes the mourner feel close to the deceased. But this is for you, so you should go wherever you feel comforted. If that is the place where the ashes were scattered, then that's fine. But if it isn't, or if that place isn't somewhere that you can get to regularly, why not choose a spot that was special to your loved one? A park or place they liked to go, perhaps? Or even a place in your home. If your loved one liked to look at the stars, then go outside at night. Whatever place or routine makes you feel comfortable is what you should do.
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If you cannot get to the place the ashes are scattered a visit to your local Church to sit and thinknow and again. If you do not attend a church, anytime you take a quiet moment to think of your loved one I am sure that they know and will be close to you.
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Apart from two of my grandparents and one close friend everybody I have known who has died has been cremated. The grandparents who were buried died long before I was born, so I never knew them. So there is only one grave of somebody I knew that I could visit, and I've only visited that once since the funeral. I often think about various deceased friends and relatives and it is in circumstances that are relevant to the life of each of them that brings their memory back. For example, cricket matches remind me of the grandfather that I knew, seeing crops being harvested reminds me of one friend and hearing a particular common expression that another friend often used reminds me of him. Being reminded like this makes me take a moment or two to reminisce about them which, I suppose, is the same as paying my respects.
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It is the thought behind it ,more important then physical location.The remains might be in an urn on the mantle or the remains might have been scattered on the ocean or land.You could also go to these places.
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Any time you remember the person who has passed on or anytime you feel a connection to their memory you are paying your respects to them. If you feel as though you need to go somewhere though I would suggest a pretty park or even going to the cemetery at the grave of someone else you know and paying your respects there. I don't think there would be anything wrong with that. The only grave I know how to get to is my grandparents on my dad's side but I will "talk" to my other grandparents from that grave as well.
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I don't think this question is offensive in any way. I would think where the ashes are at. Mine will be right on top of where Jimmy is buried.(There isn't another plot by him, so I was told they can still put me there if cremated.) another idea is what I am going to do, on his birthday, July 27th I am going to start burning a candle once a night to take a moment to remember our beautiful time together.
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On the anniversary of their death, create a literal ritual for "remembering." I had one of my children cremated and her ashes were scattered at sea. On the anniversary of her death, I go swim IN the ocean and pretend she is holding me up ... talking to me ... and giving me permission to FEEL whatever it is I am feeling THAT year. Some years are silly. Some horrid crying spells. There is no guilt allowed! (Sometimes I find a treasure on the shore and pretend to think that she left it there: a heart shaped rock ... a bit of colored glass.)
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Although my grandfather was not cremated, he donated his body to science. So like those cremated we did not have a grave site. However, the neighbors of where he lived before he passed on, bought a park bench, which his name inscribed and put it in our Memorial Park. That would, in my opinion, be a great place to go for comfort for him. But it is not the only, as I feel if someone is gone, if you need comfort you can talk to them wherever you are, not just where a marker of them is. Maybe if you know of this person's favorite spot it could make do as a comforting zone as well.
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I like to go to a place where theres been a forest fire recently. It helps to remind me why I'm there(all the ashes and what not.) If you can't get out to a forest, try going to a house thats been burned down. If you can't find a house thats been burned down, well, you know what to do...
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You can go to the location where the ashes were scattered or buried. If you don't have access to that you can go to the church were the funeral was held and pray. You might even go to that person's favorite place and think of them while there. Or even just keep the thoughts in your heart whenever you need them.
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I lost my Granmother one year on the 21st Jan, and was unable to attend her funeral as i was serving in Iraq and my unit would not allow me to leave theatre to attend her funeral. My Grans ashes were scartered in the garden of rememberance everytime im home i visit her there and lay flowers in her memory, my gran kept me safe whilst i was serving in Iraq for Queen and Country i believe that the least i can do for my gran is visit her place of rest everytime im at home and take her her favourite flowers. God Bless Gran. miss you
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Many cremains are buried in a cemetery with a monument or marker marking the spot. Many others are placed in a niche in a columbarium (a mausoleum for urns). Others scatter the cremains, so a visit to the scattering location would be a focal point for paying respects.
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In your heart-
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I suppose the best thing to do is to go to a place that reminds you of them, and honor them in your heart. But this is why the last thing I want when I am dead is cremation. I'm going to be sure to put that in my will,...
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You might like to create a special place now at your home in her memory like in the back yard for example: build a small garden area in her memory, plant rose brushes etc and a bench,add little items that would remind you of her,just so you have a private place to sit and talk to her and think of all the good times.
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Well, you could go where the ashes are scattered. You can actualy go to the ern and do it (like if you have the ern in a room in your house). Or some people do have the erns barried, so they would be able to visit the "grave". Where ever the ashes are, that's where you mourn.
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No need to feel like your question was offensive...it's very good actually! You can go to where the ashes were spread, to a place where you and the person would frequent (did you have a favorite restaurant, lake, park, etc you went to?) or perhaps you could something special on your own. You could plant a tree, with permission, and place a small plaque below it to remember the person. Just go to a place that makes you remember the person!
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I lost an uncle to cancer over a year ago, and was unable to attend the funeral. He was cremated. Even though he lived far away, I have a picture of him. Every now and then I will look at the picture and remember him.
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