Ok, im 21 years old im engaged to my lover for the past year i cannot tell my parents because my father would kill me. im not even allowed to date were not getting married now until im done with school. were just engaged i wanna tell my dad but im scared.
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 10
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I would just tell him because they can't control what you do. If they happen to abandon you then that is something you will have to take into account and plan for. Otherwise if you can't deal with your parents relationship how are you going to deal with the relationship in your marriage and future kids.
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I kind of know how you feel. If u live with him you are screwed to tell him. If not call him of e-mail him. Your an adult. He might get mad but he will get over it. My father-in-law and I were rivals. Now we are good friends. Good luck!!! Hope the advice helps!!!
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First, you are an adult. You and you alone are in charge of your life and get to make your decisions. Secondly, if you believe you're mature enough to embark on a life-long marriage, you need to be mature enough to talk to your father. You might be surprised -- after the initial shock of the revelation -- at how accepting your father might be. Even if he's not, you have the right to live your life the way you see fit. If he chooses not to participate in that, it's his loss. Talk to him; he really might surprise you.
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The part that jumped at me in your question is that you're not allowed to date. Why not?, You're 21 years old. (?) You should talk to your father calmly without making a a big deal out of it. Tell him that you both have made up your mind about this, and you're smart enough to wait until you're finished with your studies to do so. Maybe say you're really hoping for his support and it would mean a lot if he gives it . If he doesn't have a favorable reaction, listen to him and his reasoning, If his words make sense, sound logical and are sensible enough, maybe you should take that into account. If not, I think you're old enough as I said before to make your own decisions. Good Luck.
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this is the moment in your life when you become your own person, and separate from your parents.. its never easy, but it gets alot easier...
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If there is a concern that your Dad will stop paying for school if you tell him, then tread carefully. Keep in mind, though, that you've determined that you are mature enough to have sex and a fiance -- if you're conducting yourself as an adult in these areas it would be appropriate seriously consider doing the same with your relationship with your father.
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I'm assuming you're still living with your parents, which is why you're 21 and not allowed to date. I can understand that, because as long as you're living under your parents' roof they set the rules. But you need to talk to your dad and let him know you're seeing this guy and serious about him. Just be prepared that he may get very angry. As I see it, worst case scenario is he boots you out, so make sure you have a plan for if he does.
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You are a fully grown adult wherever you live in the World and to not be allowed to date just does not come into the situation. You seem to behaving in a very adult manner with your relationship, not wanting to marry until you have finished school. You are I am afraid going to have to seize the nettle and behave in an adult way with your father. This will involve sitting down and explaining the situation to him and let him know your plans and that you intend to continue to behave in a responsible manner. At your age this is not a requirement but if you wish to keep your family onside it would seem to me to be advisable. Good Luck
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Welcome to Answerbag and I hope one of the answers helps you. I hope nobody takes this response as racist, but I see that you are a woman, but I don't know where in the world you live or what is your religious background. I can only repeat that you are an adult with your own life to live and your own decisions to make, but I suspect that a part of your problem is that you want to be true to your background and belief system. I would recommend that you listen to what William Shakespeare had to say, "This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. "
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You are 21 years old and a adult. I would talk to you day and if he doesnt like then listen to his reason why and if he cant give your a good reason then tell him that you love him and you got to go with your heart and if truly love you he will understand and want to see you happy.
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