How do you get rid of a jehova's witness that won't quit coming to your house at 6 in the morning?
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ANSWERS: 100
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Ask them which Kingdom Hall they are from. Call that Kingdom Hall and ask for an Elder. Tell them that the visits are unwanted and you have repeatedly asked them to stop coming. I, personally, have never known a JWs who would be so disrespectful as to return when asked not to .. but obviously you have a person who chooses not to show respect. Report them to the Elders.
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You may not be dealing with a real JW, but some one using their name, most of their outreach people know the rules and stay quite close to the guidelines. If it is a stalking/ Harassing issue, get law enforcement involved.
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Start answering the door naked. If they still persist, then start answering the door naked while holding a sword.
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That early - Call the police there's no sense in that at all - Don't answer the door for them either - That doesn't sound like any religion
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You are not serious, this question should be under "jokes".
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If someone is coming to your door at 6am it ISN'T one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Their preaching work is organized to start at 10am unless they are visiting laundromats or parks. If someone IS harrassing you at 6am, I suggest you call the Police and report them... no matter WHAT faith they claim to be.
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Just confront them and tell them to go away and don't come back. Every time they come over after that, answer the door with a gun. If no gun is to be located, I agree with the other guy. Answer the door naked.
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They don't come to my house after I answered the door naked, and before they could get a word in, said "Bloody hell, you hookers get here quick!"
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Answer the door in a black cloak and goat horns on your head. (I have 2 Baphomet medallions you can borrow)!
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I will speak in chinese so they won't understand. I will pretend I cannot understand English as well.
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Wire up your gate or bell to an electric source.
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Say to them...May God bless you and keep you....They only score points if people reject them.
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Report him to the police for harrassment.
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Answer the door stark naked.
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Get the garden hose and let 'em have it.
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to all of you if a JW does not stop witnessing it is because it's a commandmnet from Jesus look up Mathew 28:19,20 and you'll know why as of matter of fact it is our responsability to do the same if we all believe in Christ, because christian means being a Christ's disciple. But is true if someone does not want to be witness they usually do not go back because just remember you are rejecting the word of the Almighty God not the witnesses, so they're happy as long as they showed up in somebody's door weather accepted or not it is God that is beig neglected just remember Noah's account in the book of genesis. He spent more than 45 years building the arch and evagenlizing as well but he was always mocked at and laughed at and what happened to all those people? well same thing it's going to happened soon look up mathew 24:36-39 it is parallel to our days.
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I trust you're being a little inaccurate with the time? There are what are known as "sociable hours" - in Canada for instance, 7am - 7pm are sociable hours - outside of which times you should only be bothered in an emergency. Anyone who consistently bothers you outside sociable hours is probably committing a civil, if not criminal offense.
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JW do not come at 6:00am that's alie they have their guide lines and respect them. It is probably somedy else that may want to hurt you, call police remember the do not call at that hour
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I just told them I was Catholic, it seemed to do the trick! :)
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Try to convert them. They don't mind dishing it out to you but they don't enjoy taking it.
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ask them if you can borrow 5 bucks to buy a six-pack.
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I had a big problem with them... Now, I'm a religious person myself, so one day I joined them on the front porch, and said, "Do you believe the Bible is the Word of God?" they nod consent "Okay, tell me what you're offering me, and I'll try to find it in my Bible, here." After an hour and a half, they still hadn't said one thing that could be backed up with scripture, and in fact, most of it was completely spoken against! They ended up leaving angrilly, and I haven't seen them since.
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They dont come to my house anymore as i have pentagrams hanging up outside lol In your case if i was you id open the window and throw a bucket of water out,they wont come again!!!6Am in the morning indeed thats redicoulus
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If it is true that they are coming at 6am, call the police.
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Ragnarok_421, what is up with your 6:00 a.m. home visitor who you said was a JW? It's been two months, has there been any resolution? Your question was good because it gave an opportunity to dispense some helpful and truthful facts to the folks out there.
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I can not beleive the people who will answer the door naked. What is up with that?( no pun intended). I mean you don't want them to come back, Right? What makes you think naked is a bad thing? Being naked disarms you.
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I live in Russia, and Jehovah's witnesses are forbidden here as a dangerous sect.Now I understand that it`s good , because if they come to your house at 6 o`clock in the morning....they sure should be forbidden .
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You know...nothing against anyones religion, but when you are constantly harassed by them banging on your door and being very pushy, not taking no for an answer...it is time to take matters in your own hands. It got to the point that I had to be very rude and nasty to them. I yelled and slammed the door in their faces..you name it. I finally told them I would call the police on them for harassment if they ever came again...and that solved the problem.
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VooDoo, Disfellowshipped, Pentagram, Ouija board, offer to read their palms first.. just a few things that would likely work.
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tell them to please stop coming to your door. If they dont just have sex in front of them....i mean leave the door open or something.
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I was told that if you hang an American flag outside your home in the front they will not come for some reason. I am not that familiar with JWs but I was told it has something to do with their feelings on either the country, or flying a symbol in front of your home. Maybe someone else has more information about this?
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Just tell them you already have a religion.
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Leave a sign out on the door "No religion here,please leave"
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Calmly explain to them that you have a different view of faith and a different choice of religion. And that you would gladly like to convert them if they so choose but you are not open to converting yourself.
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http://www.free-template.net/3d_images/WEAPON/PISTOLS/SHOTGUN.JPG
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I will copy my answer to a similar question for you, as I think the advice will work the same way! the question was: "What's the best way to keep the neighbors' cats away from my bird feeders?" My answer was: "Pellet gun. Low velocity, so it doesn't actually hurt them. You just want to startle the living crap out of them. They will come back a couple more times before they get too skittish to come back around it. Try to nail them in the butt. They have a decent bit of meat there to make sure your shot doesn't bruise bone." I think this ought to work for your problem as well! LMMFAO http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2749746
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stand there with the door open naked with a pentagram draw w/lipstick on your chest
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I tell them I am a Buddhist.
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I solved that problem years ago. I don't call the doberman off.
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Summon a demon!
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I find it hard to believe that someone put this ludicrous question back into play. I can tell you that Jehovah's Witnesses don't call at anyone's home prior to 9 a.m.
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Have my German Sheppard waiting on the front porch for them. :-)
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i think my boyfriend's method may be the best. Leave a window close to the door open and dance around naked, singing "if i was a rich girl" by Gwen Stephani. And it works best if you're a hairy jewish man. ;)
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Answer the door naked with a pentagram drawn on your forhead. Worked for a friend of mine!
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My cousin answered the door and started yelling "get thee away from me satan" along with a bunch of stuff you would say to a satanist. They never returned. When we first moved here they came and knocked on our door and I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to them. They left after I threatened to have them arrested for soliciting. If they showed up again at 6am,I'm afraid they would probably think I'm going straight to h#!!
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when they kept coming to my house i told them that i was studying wicca and i have not seen them since
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If you find out, let me know! it happens to me all the time!
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Get a great big dog! I have one and they've only knocked on my door once!
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Electrify your doorbell. :o)
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Know how to argue with them in a way that they can't argue with you. That can get rid of them quick! (hopefully). Or you could threaten that you'll call the police on them for harassment if they don't stay away from your house. Or you can buy large dogs that might scare them from coming on your property, even if they dogs just so happen to be friendly. A "BEWARE OF DOG" sign might also help. There must be Jehovah's Witnesses who are scared of dogs.
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Invite the mormons in the morning and let them battle it out while you eat your English Muffin.
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i was told that they think rottwiellers.they think they devils dog.i had some coming to my house weekly.they always came at lunch time on sunday when we have family meal.i just told them not to come anymore because they are wasting my time and their own time,and they'll never change my views.i haven't seen them since.if this don't work get their names and church and report them to police.
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answer the door naked
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Answer the door with a gun and scare the shit out of them. Load it with blanks and fire a couple shots as they are leaving.
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hahaha just tell them to F*** O**!!!!!!!!!!1
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Arsenic, but not recommended. A big dog sometimes helps. Maybe invite over the Mormon missionaries instead? They at least don't knock until after nine. (After Bible study, etc.)
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A couple showed up at my neighbor’s door a couple years ago while I was cutting down some dead trees on my property. He must have politely told them that I needed saving more than he did and directed them to me (nice neighbor…huh). As they made their way over to my gate, I stood up, covered in sawdust, sweat and dirt and shot them the evil eye while revving the chainsaw. Never seen those nice people again. Don’t know why. ;)
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Make a taping of Dr.laura's talk-radio show then when they come knocking at your door play it on loud. They will leave so fast that by the time their feet touch ground they will be in another state.
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well, in Texas I think if you post a 'no trespassing' sign on your property it is within your rights to shoot them. At least, I hope this is still the law. Move to Texas ;)
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Start preaching to them about your religion
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Supersoakers.
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Tell them you're a devil worshipper getting ready for a sacrifice and they're the guest of honor.
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stop answering the door, if that doesnt work tell them if they dont stop comming you will pray for them and douse them in holy water
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LOL great story, when i was younger my nana told me to throw salt at them when they are walking away... so... i grabbed the whole salt shaker ( i was like 6 or 7 mind you) and threw it at them ...lieterally... they never returned
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buy fake fangs, and red eye contacts and start cursing at them in a tottaly indestinguishable way in latin. dont for get the fake blood and arm either;)
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Tell them that they have sufficiently witnessed to you about their version of Jehovah, and that you thank them for their time and devotion.
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they got my teenage son out of the shower, so he went to the door in just his towel, he then invited them in for an orgy and they left really quick, they havnt been back since,that was two years ago.
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I tell those assholes that they have 3 seconds to get their asses out of here before I let the dogs loose.
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LOL Jehova Witnesses at 6 am??? I don't believe you
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Your question is unlikely, as Witness's do not begin going door to door until after they have a short meeting, which is usually around 8:30 am, and go "out in service at around 9am.
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just say thanks to them, you now worship the devil as the thought of 'heaven' with them in it was just far too unbearable :)
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Um, ah, like don't get up and answer the door??!?
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Pit bull on the front lawn
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spray bottle of water
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Buy a Satanic Bible I's written by Anton LeVay....you don't have to read it...trust me this works....answer the door. Agree to read their information if they promise to read yours...then show them Anton's book....they will run and you will never...i mean never see them again....then you can do what you want with the JW repellent...trust me. You will never see humans move so fast in your life.
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Seduce it
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answer the door wearing a strap-on?
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Call the police. Get some pitbulls. Throw them a bucket of cold water. My 2 cents.
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Seriously...call the police....get a restraining order or something like that.
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I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I don't even get up that early on days that I go in the ministry. Our groups meet at 9:30am and we usually leave at 10am. Unless otherwise stated we are out in public places but that doesn't start till 7am.. I really don't believe it would be a Jehovahs Witness. But if some how it is just tell them your not interested and not to come back. We have a Do Not Call List!
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Find the quote in the Bible about how "even a blessing from your neighbor is a curse too early in the morning." (Not sure of the actual wording) Also, find some Christian quotes that show how their ideas don't match up with the Bible.
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Tell them to go to hell!
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I know/knew a girl who once invited them in and tried to convert them. She's a Wicca devotee, or a white witch if you will. She kept talking to them (nicely) until they got uncomfortable and left. After that they never came back. :-)
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First tell them you have a church and you are happy with it. Then, tell them you are canning tomatoes and they can stay but they have to help.
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Tell them you already know about Jesus and tell them the REAL story about Him and that not only 144,000 will get to Heaven and that this earth is gonna burn, not turn into paradise for the one's who don't get to Heaven. They hate it when you preach back at them.
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Answer the door naked, holding a shotgun.
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just never answer the door
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You answer the door completely naked with tin foil wrapped around your head and spoons stuck up your nose...open the door wide and tell them to hurry inside the mother ship is about to take off. Or you can just be honest and brave and tell them if they knock on your door one more time you will call the police for trespassing.
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Just say,"Don't come back". Most usually it will be 3 years before they come back and see if someone new has moved in. Jehovah's Witnesses usually don't come at that time of morning unless you request it. Trust me, they like to sleep in too.
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Buy a bull dog. :)
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We don't come to ANYONES house at 6am thats someone else...we start our preaching work on Saturday's after 9am. And the same throughout the week
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A Mac 10? ;-)
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call the police and say you have a repeatative tresspasser.
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Try taking off all your clothes, get an American Flag and put on a dance for them while singing, "All Praise to Satan." That ought to do it.
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do somone need to chaste them out because to me its like telling God to go away.They brings God's word to the doorstep of everybody.So don't border,just listen to them and learn from God's word
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JW's aren't going to people's doors at 6AM. They have a time that they start their preaching, not sure what time it is, but it can only be something that is socially acceptable. Probably not before 10AM. Someone showing up at 6AM probably isn't a JW, and it might be a good idea to call the local JW hall and notify them that someone is going door to door in their name and harassing you at 6AM. If it is them, they can sort it out, if it isn't, then the police should be called.
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tell them to call back later at a time that suits you, if you say that you're 'disfellowshipped' then an elder may pay a visit
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Yeah, it is very unlikely it was a Witness at 6:00, we don't even have service meetings then, they're normally at 9:30 then door to door starts at 10:00, I prefer 11:30 to 12:00 because I like my sleep too.
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Post a No trespassing sign or simply tell us your not interested. :)
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Hire this fella to answer your door yo...
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