• *Clarification* Too available is getting advances from the opposite sex that are almost harassing. "Don't come near me vibe", which I think I give off is that they think you are unapproachable.
  • I give off the "Don't come near me" vibe when I go out with my co- workers because the girls at my job are a bunch of scalliwags and I don't want my lowered inhibitions resulting in a "slum sociable".
  • I think this is totally true, but I don't know *exactly* how it comes about and how to control it. I've actually been trying to figure this one out, myself. I can think of a couple of people that are ALWAYS being approached by people, and chatting with people they don't know. These people have good posture, good hygiene, clean style, smile a lot, and are very friendly. In short, I think excellent self confidence automatically makes you more approachable. So, if you're slouching, you keep your head down, you have a neutral or negative expression on your face, you avoid eye contact, you're fidgety, your style is negative (lots of dark and/or baggy clothes, messy or dirty hair), then I think people get a subconscious clue not to bother you. Think about it; if people think you look like you don't like yourself, then why should *they* like you? Likewise, if you're dressed provocatively, you might get attention from people that are looking for a quickie, but you need to look confident to get attention from other people that are confident. Showing more skin doesn't make you look confident. I've noticed something very simple in myself (as a guy), that makes a huge difference: Doing my hair. -If I just towel off my hair, let it dry and go, then people are more or less indifferent about my presence. Sometimes, it seems like people go out of their way to avoid me. -Other times, I actually take the time to stick up my hair a bit, and make it look like I spent some time on it. Those days, I will actually get a couple smiles from women, a couple of people will comment about my shirt or whatever, people at stores and whatnot are more helpful. I don't know if it works for anyone else. I don't know why it works for me, but it does.
  • It's all in "the look", and body lauguage. It's human nature to "pick up" on such things.
  • Oh yes, the "don't come near me vibe" is how some people live 24/7. Makes it especially difficult for a married couple to have any kind of deeper relationship. One is always feeling empty and left behind by the other. But there comes a time when it's time to sh** or get off the pot so to speak.
  • My "don't come near me vibe" is me saying point blank I don't believe in having sex outside of marriage. Or if they want a date they can come to Church with me. That usually stops them in their tracks because most men just want sex with no strings. And I'm quite content being with just me! I flirt occasionally online, but I sleep alone! Yeah all by myself... And you know when I sleep alone... I prefer to be by myself!

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