ANSWERS: 42
  • Tell them that you're a Catholic and they will leave you alone.
  • I find that coming to the door with nothing on but my underwear, holding my shotgun, usually keeps them away.
  • I just tell them I have my own "beliefs" and tell them to have a nice day ... close the door.
  • There are a few ways: - Open the door holding a bible, watch their eyes light up, then watch them recoil in horror as you put a lighter to it. -Open the door holding a copy of Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion' . this is a personal favorite of mine. -Leave a burning cross on your front lawn at all times. -Unleash a wide vocabulary of swear words upon them and the small child they always bring with them, they will try and save teh child from such words.
  • Tell them you're a blood donor.
  • Tell them you know everything they are about to say, jada jada jada, then say have a nice day anyway and jesus loves you Good bye!
  • I just tell them I'm Lutheran, to have a good day and close the door. I do the same with the Mormon missionaries.
  • I opened the door to Jehovas one time and just told them I had a huge hangover and was going to throw up. Well, it was Saturday morning, why do they always come on Saturday morning?
  • I say "bless you" - Something I heard , that they get a blessing every time they are rejected at the door. So I do the opposite. It works. They don't come back.
  • here in holland there is kinda of a regular thing we use when there are jehova´s at the door. In english it goes like this: You´re going door to door to try to sell your beliefs? Those are free, right? I know, cause I all already have 6 of em, you can put yours with the rest of em in the backyard.. (and if you want you can add `or does yours rust outside?`)
  • I say "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I don't want you to waste your time. I'm familiar with your religion, I respect your beliefs and what you're doing, but I'm simply not interested, I'm very happy as I am. Thank you, have a great day." I've never had a repeat visit. (I do move a lot though so at every new place I inevitably encounter them.)
  • Offer to read their literature if they read your literature on satan...
  • Keep a pile of esoteric comics at your front door and convince them to take one each time they visit.
  • You could always tell them that you were just about to sacrafice a goat. Then invite them in. Or you could ask them which one of the twelve tribes they belong to and how they know. But seriously. They are at worst only a minor annoyance in your life. Don't be unnecessarily cruel to someone that thinks that what they do may save you from eternal torment. They are trying, in their way, to do you a favor.
  • Tell them you're mormon (and tell the mormons you're a Jehovah Witness), I heard they'll leave you alone like oil & water. You don't need an excuse to not want to talk to them, just say you're not interested and close the door. They'll move on.
  • Answer the door naked with a plunger in one hand and a bottle of olive oil in the other and say, "I've been waiting for you for so long!" Nah, seriously I usually respectfully thank them for their concern for my spiritual health but decline to speak further with them as I am content with my own beliefs.
  • most see my "witch" sign on the door , and don't bother knocking .. if they do , and they hand me a paper .. i put a sticker on it that says " this stolen idea has been reclaimed by wicca " ..and i hand it back . i also put them on xmass cards . halloween , easter ... xmass decorations etc ... to reclaim the stolen pagan traditions .
  • Come to the door semi-naked.....
  • I've found that telling them I'm a happy atheist works well.
  • I don't even bother. I used to look out the peephole of my door, and if I don't see anyone I know out there, I do not answer the door, period. Now I have a big gate on the porch and they can't even get anywhere near my front door. I do not have a doorbell, and I have a sign that says "I do not answer my door, if you want to reach anyone here, call (phone number). Delivery leave packages under the gate. My dog barking wildly at the door also deters them.
  • Answer the door in a black robe and carrying a candle chanting -- act like you are putting a curse on them.
  • pitbull baseball bat firehose pretned to worship Satan police no se habla ennnngliiiish argue ask them if they believe that only 100 an some K of them can be saved and there is already too many Witnesses to ALL be saved, why should you join
  • Ask if they want to help if the sacrifice because you're a little short handed after having to sacrifice your eldest child.
  • I simply state, " Sorry not interested, have a nice day", and I shut the door. After doing that a couple of times, when they are out and about now they put a stone on my letter box, (they do this after each place they visit so they don't go to the same place twice), and don't even bother coming in anymore.
  • My gas powered leaf blower does a fine job keeping them and their pamphlets off my front stoop!
  • http://i.imgur.com/2dOXe.jpg
  • Keep a copy of the Satanic Bible near the door, to produce when needed :-D.
  • Tell them you are in a Coven.
  • mace , sarin
  • Let your pitbull stay outside after he goes to the bathroom. It worked for me. :-)
  • When you answer yell back into your house like you have a pet or child "Satan, get back in your room!" or "Satan, what did I tell you about cleaning up your messes?!" or maybe ask them "Have you by chance seen my little poodle Satan?"
  • Answer the door naked with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and say, "Hey! Where's the god damned pizza, you guys?"
  • open the door tell them no and don't wait for a response and close the door. they can only take advantage of you if you let them.
  • I have a no solicitation sign on my front door. It seems to work.
  • Rub your hand all over the inside of your ass before you answer the door, open the door and shake their hand. Then start flipping through a porn magazine for them to see. If they refuse to look at the porn, tell them to get the f**k off your property before you blow their heads off.
  • In high school, I made up a few fake Russian-sounding sentences ("Na skrovnin grazhny khrosch, ya vdrodschye porkorov horovye, zerkhos muhlov."), so just look at them blankly, say that, and close the door.
  • For some reason they don't knock on my door in the town I live in, but they do leave fliers. However, when the Mormons came to my door I just simply told them "I don't believe in your religion or your door to door salesmanship." Seems to have worked, when I see them going door to door on my street they pass me up. Been that way for many years now.
  • Actually being home does it for me ;)
  • Answer the door with a shotgun in your hand? Answer the door naked, this one would be funny. Answer the door with a knife in your hand with fake blood on it, (this one might just get the police called on you lol) Answer the door Laughing and say you know i just heard the funniest joke about Jehovah's Witnesses. note: with these people you might actually have to tell it so be ready lol.
  • You may need a friend for this but open the door with one of your friends laying on the floor not moving (Make him look as dead as possibal but not to gory you dont wanna over do it) ask them nicely if you could have some private time while cudderling him in your arms crying. Make up something like you didnt wanna hurt him but he pushed you to far, they will give you all the private time you need.
  • Leave all of your leftovers on the front porch to rot. That will deter anyone.
  • The best way to learn what to do to stop JWs is to contact a synagogue and talk to the Rabbi. Ask him how the ancient Jews got rid of the Christian Jews when they went from house to house telling their brethren that the beliefs, rituals, and holiday observances that they have followed for hundreds of years was no longer valid? I’m sure they had ways to get rid of the Jews, who from their point of view, was a cult started by a Uneducated, Jewish Lower Class Carpenter, who was executed for cause by the governing authority. The only education he got was from his low class parents, Mary and Joseph. These followers were also uneducated Jewish lower class individuals, such as Peter, a failed fisherman, and Matthew, a hated tax collector. Lacking any kind of education, let alone advance religious education, it was clear they were easily brainwashed into believing that the uneducated ex-carpenter was somehow the Messiah, which was clearly false as it was commonly known that when the Messiah came, he would destroy (Armageddon) the enemies of the true people of God, as foretold. Saul of Tarsus, a highly educated individual in the religious arts, repeatedly proved they were a false religious sect and cult, creating their own scriptures (Bible) instead of relying on the Holy Torah, which had been used by the Jews for hundreds of years. Saul often stood by as the true believers of God stoned these so-called Christians for their door to door activities and spreading of false doctrine. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saul_of_Tarsus Now, I would not recommend stoning, but they may have had other methods that worked to stop the house to house work and the spreading of false doctrine . What worked for them against the Christian cult may work against the JWs. At least you will be in good company in doing so. Or Just call the Kingdom Hall and ask that your address be put on the back of territory card listing of no call addresses. At this point, they check back only every six months. Of course, you already knew that, you just wanted to collect a bunch of anti-JW comments from people, like the sexual deviants who say to answer the door naked. If a neighbor's child were to see that, you would be looking at a sex offense change, with automatic registry, whether found guilty or not. ************************ One has to wonder what you would have done as a first century Jew when your brethren Jews (Peter, Matthew, etc.) came to your door trying to tell you about the Good News of God's Kingdom. Would you have told them that their Holy Scriptures were made up just to fit their beliefs and you would just stay with relying on the Holy Torah? Would you have told them that it is common knowledge that when the Messiah came he would destroy (Armageddon) all non-believers? As such, their belief that he had come (or returned today) clearly is false. Do you need to ask yourself if you are repeating the same mistakes as those ancient Jews who turned away those knocking at their doors? Simply put, "Those who do not learn from the mistakes of history are doomed to repeat them." If you wish to continue repeating the mistakes of the past, all you need to due is call the Kingdom Hall and ask to have your address placed on the no call list. In this manner they will return every six months to confirm or see if someone different is living at the address.

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