ANSWERS: 28
  • Are you disgusted that they discussed it? If its a luncheon based on the "team" at work and you are SPECIFICALLY not being included, and it really bothers you, then you need to talk to your manager ... if its just a bunch of friends getting together, then as of now, you really don't have any reason to go ... maybe in 3 months when Christmas rolls around ...
  • ~ answer removed by poster
  • that's f*cked up
  • Oh that is very rude indeed shorty88..excluding people in such a way is very ignorant..maybe you could have a chat with your boss and explain how you feel about it..as this social event make help in you getting to know each other better....
  • Totally disgusting, team, nah horrible lot +5
  • thats totally lame, if you dont speak up for yourself your as much to blame
  • It's wrong and if I were a boss someone would have to come to talk to me because that's just harsh, way to make you feel welcome.
  • You'll have to ignore them. You could say, as you casually pass by with a cuppa, "I've never in my life worked anywhere that excludes one person from their Christmas luncheon", and carry on walking. Maybe the team upstairs will invite you to theirs? All you did was move departments, and now 'cos you're "the newbie/youngest" you're not included. You might still be the youngest on the team 3 years from now ~ what are they going to do - exclude you until someone new comes along? Like you said - it IS a job, and that's what counts for the moment. Keep your eyes on the alert for a sideways move over the upcoming months. They're a pack of old fogeys anyway LoL ;)
  • Is doesn't matter that your new. The point is that you work there now and that is your team so excluding you is extremely rude and inappropriate. It's hard for me to sometimes hold my tongue. I would probably say something to them and still not go. If that is the behavior of your team then honestly those are not people I would want to be around with outside of work. You're so much better than that! They sound like a bunch of jerks. I have organized xmas parties and luncheon's for the past twenty years and my motto always has been the more the merrier. Now that is the Xmas spirit! Forget them. +6
  • speak up! let your voice be heard. tell them you want to be included. they wont mind one more. it might be rude to be excluded. still, you gotta speak up and let them know you want in. then they can tell you to your face that you arent included.
  • I agree with you. Who told you the reason you're excluded? Are you sure it's true? Are other new people excluded? Speak with one of the older employees and get the real skinny. This seems odd to me.
  • Wait a second....they are discussing a staff lunch for staff except the new ones? HOW RUDE!!! Does managment know or is this one of their rules? If you really want to go (and I've done this with success), ask your boss if you can go as long as you pay for your own lunch. I worked at a hotel and the day I was hired, the staff were all going on an outing. I really wanted to go so I could meet everyone and offered to pay my way. My boss agreed and in the end, she paid for me out of her pocket.
  • That's well rude. Bang out of order!
  • Yes I think it is very rude. Not a good way to encourage team morale. All staff should be invited.
  • That is the craziest thing I have ever heard! Luncheons are the BEST way to intro new people to the group and get to know each other on a personal level. If I were you I'd be thinking about finding work with a company that cares about people... this one clearly doesn't!
  • I would be upset as well if I were employeed there. Only way I would be okay with it is if it was like a lunch for department heads or supervisors.
  • That would be rude! Consider that maybe you are doing a GREAT job in your position and that they may be waiting to surprise you because you simply are that good at what you do. No rash or harsh decisions. Leave it be for now. +4pts. =)
  • Discussing.... I think excluding you is disgusting
  • All those work "parties" are gay. A bunch of jerk offs seein' how can kiss the boss's ass the best. Be grateful you're not invited, soon it'll be "mandatory or you're not a team player" and you'll be wishing you could stay home.
  • tooty, you have choices. (1)you can continue moaning about this and be miserable OR (2)you can see them for the shallow inconsiderate schmucks that they are and be happy that you aren't apart of that. it is YOUR choice...but you can't change them. AND if this is the organizational culture, maybe this isn't the job for you. there are many toxic work environments so you won't find a perfect one but maybe there is one less toxic than this for you so (3) you can always go get another job. OR (4)you could endure the current environment, commit to living longer than any of them and make it your life's mission to change the organizational culture as each of them dies off. Personally, i would take option 2 and learn everything i can while they think they have left me behind and then i'd use that knowledge to find another job. i see option four as a waste of time.
  • It wasn't until I saw your comment on RhysMom's response that this made sense. And now it makes perfect sense. It's not that "you're excluded from the group", although that's how you choose to interpret this. The fact is that as the new person in the group, you have to stay behind and "be available to represent" while they're away on the extended lunch. It's too bad, but it's like that ALL OVER THE WORLD. If you find a new place to go, then very likely you'll find the same rule applies; it's very common policy, especially in public and quasi-public enterprises. You're being overly sensitive, I think. And definitely looking at this the wrong way.
  • is the reason they quoted "because she's new"? if so, that fucked up. unless they have explicitly NOT invited you, then you can still just say, hey, where is the xmas lunch going to be? and ba-boom, you're in. ...unless they were major pricks and said you can't come to your face.
  • ..its in december..2 months is enough..those people are jacka**es..ugh
  • Is it organised by the firm or by the individuals? Because if the firm is paying for it, I don't think they have any say on the matter.
  • I'd try not to make a big deal of it ae... just pretend you've accepted that your not going and that's ok, and just be friendly. It is their choice really, if the rest of them are close friends they probably wouldn't want someone they barely know at their function. If they get to know you as a person who's not going to throw her toys out of the cot when she doesn't get her own way maybe they'll accept you. You cant force them to invite you, if you talked to the boss and they told the others to let you come it'd just be a awkward, silent night. That said, it still isn't very nice that they didn't invite you.
  • I agree, it is rude. Unfortunatly, there is nothing you can do. If this continues, I would look for a new job. Who wants to work with people that are not at least a little bit nice.
  • It seems to be you're only a part of this team when it involves work. It actually sounds more like a clique and not a team at all. I think it's tacky and in poor taste to allow certain employees time away to celebrate anything. What a way to welcome the new employee. I suppose you'll be working on New Years Eve, and New Years Day, too, while everyone else is out celebrating. This company is tacky and biased.
  • Lucky you. I wish I could be excluded from all these embarrassing events without having to exclude myself.

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