ANSWERS: 7
  • I'm so sorry to hear that. Do they have support groups where you live? I think it might help to be able to talk to people who have been in your situation. At least individual counseling to help you through this time of grief. Other than that, keep as busy as you can. Lean on family and friends. Accept whatever feelings come up and let it take as long as it takes to grieve. You are going through a very traumatic experience. You need to be kind and gentle with yourself. Take care:)
  • Grief counselors should be available in your area. If you are religious most churches offer counseling....I'm sorry for your loss...I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel.
  • My mom and grandmom died of cancer, so I somewhat understand how you feel. Important thing that you need to know is that you will get over this! Here are some helpful links: http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html http://cmhc.utexas.edu/griefloss.html http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/dealing-with-grief-faq.htm http://www.jaredstory.com/dealing_with_grief.html the Tasks of Grief: TASK 1 You must accept the reality of your loss. You must talk about the loss until you accept it. The more you talk about it, the more you will realize that the loss is real - that the person is really gone and will not come back. TASK 2 You must allow yourself to experience the pain of grief. In any loss, you must accept the painful reality and finality of the loss. If you don't, your grief will keep resurfacing throughout your life and interfere with a healthy emotional state of being. You have to feel the pain. You can't avoid the pain. It will hurt. You will feel awful. But this pain must be felt in order for you to work through the pain and heal. If you push the pain away and refuse to feel it, it will fester for years and affect your entire future. TASK 3 You must learn to adjust to an environment in which the loved one is missing. You have to return to places you went together. You have to spend time in your home without this person. You have to encounter each aspect of your life without that person. It will be hard. You will need to learn new skills and tasks in order to assume responsibility for your own life. You have to learn to function without the person at home and in your everyday life. In other words, you must keep going. You can't withdraw from the world. The first time you go to a place, or experience a holiday without them, or do an activity you shared with your lost love will be the worst. After that, it will get better. TASK 4 Finally, after you have grieved all you need to grieve, you have to begin to withdraw emotional energy that you are investing in your grieving and the focus you have on your loss, and invest it in new relationships (not necessarily of the opposite sex, and certainly not right away). If, after a reasonable amount of time, you constantly relive your marriage (or your relationship with the person), constantly go over "what I did wrong" and "what I should have done differently", and refuse to try to move on with your life, you are investing too much energy in your grieving. The support and encouragement of a loving family and a good support group is necessary in order to move on with your life. New friends and new interests are important. The time will come when you will have to get on with your life. If you are female and your husband took care of all of the business and you were just a passenger in your lives together, you will need to learn to do the things that he did and you didn't do and don't know how to do. You will have to assume all of the responsibilities, and you can, because you are stronger than you or your spouse gave you credit for being. Acceptance and a determination to live your life fully will refocus your energy in a more positive manner. Take back your power. Don't let that person keep you weak and dependent upon them. Don't let yourself grieve for too long. We all have the strength to overcome. You can do it. You can make a new and meaningful life for yourself. So, get one with it. As the old cliché goes, "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."
  • I'll keep you in my prayers. Pour your heart out to Jesus mate. God bless you!!
  • I am so sorry for your loss,my wife died of cancer 12th April 2009,after 30yrs of marriage.She was the other side of my coin,life was just terrible without her I love her so much and miss her every minute of every day,plenty of tears were shed and still are, searching of soul what could I have done?. Things that I blamed my self for and still do. This is perfectly normal you are going through stages of grief from sadness to possibly anger, blaming yourself God or anything or anybody. You will have your good days and you will have very bad days. As the months pass your grief will change you wont forget but you will begin to cope with your loss.If you have family they can be of great help I know mine have been fantastic.Remember it is important to grieve this is normal and can take various lengths of time everybody is different.If you have a minister of religion they can helpful.Forums like this can be useful.You will have other things to deal with finance etc but that discussion is for another day. Remember you are not alone
  • Aww Its going to take time. Im sorry but Its true.
  • maybe you should get some counseling

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