People upstairs are fighting. It's not too bad but...should I be doing something? My boyfriend says to intervene if we believe someone to be physically hurt, and not before. What do you think?
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Symbeline
ANSWERS: 12
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I generally don't get involved in other people's business but if you're concerned, go upstairs and ask if everything is okay. I wouldn't call the police until you know that someone is getting hurt.
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At the very least you should pound on the ceiling, that way they will realize (if they don't already) that other people can hear them. It may not improve their home life, but it might prevent them from escalating. We used to have a single mother and her teenage daughter upstairs, and they were always screaming at eachother. During one of their fits, I hit the ceiling with a rubber mallet and hollared for them to cut it out (and to take some parenting classes). After that, they didn't seem to argure while we were around.
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I think you should listen to your boyfriend. Until they start destroying the place and hurting each other it isn't your business. If the fight does escalate to where you believe someone is being harmed don't intervene yourself ... call the police.
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I don't know.. It was 4 in the morning and I woke up to my dog barking then it squealed, going back in the apartment. I got out on the balcony and my neighbor started yelling at me, threatening, swearing for no reason. Obviously, he was dead drunk, lol.. I suggested my dad to call the police, but he didn't. Though, I suggest you do, before anyone gets hurt.
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Let them fight without you sticking your nose into it. . If it takes on the appearance of actual violence, call the police. . If it's just loud arguing, beat on the ceiling with something to let them know they are too loud. If it doesn't settle down, call your landlord (or the police, if it's really bad). . Unless they are people you ALREADY know, don't get any more involved than that.
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There's good advice in the other answers, but I'll just add something. I believe when people fight and it starts to escalate the people fighting aren't aware of what is going on sround them. They are so caught up in arguing that they block out everything else so maybe my banging on the ceiling and shouting to them that may bring them back to being aware of others. That way maybe they'll be more aware next time. If not then listen to your boyfriend, I think he is right in this case. Good Luck!
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If this is something that hasn't happened before and you don't feel like someone is getting hurt, I'd try to ignore it. All couples fight sometimes. BUT, you should call 911 if the following are true: 1. You feel someone is in physical danger. 2. They have children in the home. I would only worry about this is there is alot of profanity being yelled and things getting thrown or slammed, or if they start screaming at their kids. When fights escalate to that level, they are out of control. 3. If this is happening at night and you are trying to sleep and its keeping you awake. 4. If this is a recurring incident. It sounds like you live in an apartment. They need to respect those around them enough to keep it down. If this is happening on a regular basis, they need to be told that this behavior is unacceptable especially in a situation where others have to hear it. If you do feel the need to do something, don't intervene yourself. Leave it to the professionals.
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Don't intervene whatever you do. It is one of the most dangerous things you can do. Policemen are often killed when they are called out to marital disputes. If the noise level increases then you can call the cops on the pretext that they were making too much noise. Otherwise, leave it alone.
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No, don't personally get involved. If anything just call the cops.
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call nine one one and start a paper trail. maybe they have a history of fighting. if not, someone, the victim, needs support for next time.
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I think when people get that loud they are sometimes subconsciously calling to the neighbors for help. Twice I heard yelling and stayed out of it. I wish I had intervened. Both couples were on the brink of divorce for passing things (silly affairs they mistook for real love) and I think I could have helped prevent those divorces. The woman in one has ruined her life because (she told me later) she thought arguing meant you didn't love your spouse. She and the guy she's with now are very polite, but they do not love each other, and she thinks about the husband she divorced and the two kids she only sees during the holidays now. If I see people fighting publicly now I will intervene. That's that. I don't want to see a tragedy occur when two people are too upset to sit down and figure things out. If I heard fighting upstairs I would either go right up or go up the next day and talk to the one who was still there (or both.)
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Domestic violence is serious and although I am no fan of calling the police I would not hesitate if I believed it was occurring. Even if no one is being battered a visit from the police will let them know that their loud fights have been heard by neighbors who don't appreciate the noise they are making.
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