ANSWERS: 18
  • Jealousy is caused by insecurity and fear. Fear that one is inadequate in someway that may cause them to lose something they love. Yes, it is pointless, but once you understand where it's coming from, it is easier to manage.
  • +5 It is a cancer that will eat you up if you let it. The point is that it only hurts you
  • Not if the point is to make yourself feel bad.
  • Good question. Deserves a lot of thought. Having been with a very jealous woman in my early years I think of my self as something of an expert. Jealous men and women are insecure people, afraid of losing what they have. the ironic thing is that their jealousy pushes the partner away. Jealous is definitely dangerous to relationships, and people subject to fits of jealously should seek help if they want to secure their their relationships. If they truly love their the partners they might also think about how miserable jealously makes that partner.
  • During a very long marriage I was never jealous in the slightest. My wife had many male friends and I never thought to ask her about those friendships because I understood that we all,male and female, need to expand our lives and that restricting each other to friends of the same sex only makes us into narrower and doesn;t allow us to grow and mature. My wife and I are very different people than we were when we were two sex starved young kids eager to have steady sex and to have someone to talk to. We've both grown, matured, and our experiences have enlarged, have broadened the way we see the world. Thus, we are still excited to be with each other, to share our friendships, to bring into our relationship the new ideas and concepts that come out of our friendships. This would have been impossible if we had constrained ourselves to each other. We would have been bored, desperate to get dinner over with so that we cold watch television, bored with each other and with life itself. Yes, jealousy is pointless.
  • It can have negative or positive connotations ... The negative to be ... spiting someone who has achieved or aquired more ... The positive > to be jealous of someones achievements or looks, which can be an innocent interpretation of admiration. So I believe when used in the positive sense ... it can be a healthy feeling to reward some, and drive others. In the negative sense > pointless. Peace
  • yes.. i agree..people are jealous of others due to fame, money etc..but they dont see the hardships that the others have taken to achieve it... so dont be jealous
  • Sure. Hubby and I do have a long and lasting and pretty close marriage. We both have had other people in our lives. I always wonder about his "friends." I haven't been jealous, as I always believed that we loved each other, and trusted him. I wondered whether when he made love with them what it was like for him and what it was like for them. Both hubby and I always made it understood to our "friends" that our marriage was inviolate. Our trust for each other and our love has, as he says, grown. He didn't say that it has also bonded us together tightly and forever. Forever, however, is a word that I doubt we have ever used together--even though, at this point, it is obvious that only "death will do us part." I would never restrict him and I know that even more than me, he would never restrict me. What kind of relationship is it when you force a spouse to "do it your way." Then you don't have a mate, you have a carbon copy of yourself. I am not afraid of losing the man I love, because if I were it would spoil what we have. It's love, it's magic. It's a reprieve from boredom, from death. In all our marriage neither of us has ever reproved the other for living life.
  • Keep that "green monster" out of my life! Jealousy stinks!
  • Jealousy ruined my first marriage. and it was unwarranted. and it spoiled the lives of two set little children.
  • All things in their proper portions, to the correct degrees can be to the good, most of those same things to excess is bad. Seldom do I believe it is neither or pointless. More often than not I believe jealously is self destructive at the very least. +5
  • Disagree- Jealousy is human nature. Yes too much can easily ruin a relationship. But when my boyfriend is a little jealous of me talking to other guys it makes me realise how much he wants me and visa versa
  • I agree. Jealousy is a sign that the jealous person is insecure about their partners love for them. If they were certain that their partner loved and cared about them there would not be any valid reason for them to be jealous. Jealousy shows that the person who is jealous fears that their partner will find someone they like better than them so they try to push everyone out of their partner's life with their jealousy thinking if they are the only one then they have nothing to worry about. It usually doesn't work out like that though. Usually their partner gets sick and tired of their constant jealousy over everyone they talk to and they leave.
  • I must agree with most of the previous answers--except that I would add that jealousy is a sign of immaturity as well as weakness. There's no room in any of my relationships, new or old, for jealousy.
  • Or course it is... That is why we must learn to trust, be content, and love. Jealousy is the spawn of the lack of those 3 things.
  • Yes it is pointless. Socrates said that envy is the ulcer of the soul; it eats away your peace of mind and causes you numerous pains and ailments. Aristotle defined envy as the pain caused by the good fortune of others, while Kant defined it as a reluctance to see our own well-being overshadowed by another's because the standard we use to see how well off we are is not the intrinsic worth of our own well-being but how it compares with that of others – In plain English we miss seeing who we are because we are always comparing notes with others.
  • I would go further and say it is harmful! It harms the jaleous person by making them unhappy all the time... let's face it, if you look around you will always find someone more fortunate than you in some respect. I can also harm relationships, and other people in the process.
  • Jealousy is pointless and destructive. When I find myself feeling it, even a hint of it, I spend some time examining why and if I cannot resolve it I speak to my partner. In past I have been lucky enough to have partners that understand I am not the jealous type and so those conversations have always gone well. On the few occasions those feelings have crept up on me I really felt quite embarrassed to have them. Silly me!

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