When a person is without a doubt going to die & they are suffering so much, is it selfish to want them to just go? You know they are suffering and they will finally be at peace but you feel like a rotten person for wanting it to end. Am I selfish?
by 
Scrappy
ANSWERS: 16
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That is compassion, and it is honourable, I'm so sorry about your Grandma
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No. It's not being selfish.
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No it would be selfish to want to try and do everything you can to "keep them around longer"... People often do that. They dont want to loose them even though they are suffereing horribly...they prolong death until last moment. Its natural to wish death upon somebody in pain becuase you care about them, and dont want them to suffer any longer...
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I am so sorry that this is happening to you. But no you are not selfish at all. Let me put it this way... Would you rather see her suffering? You are being compassionate and empathetic.
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no, you are a good person. dont let your mind tell you otherwise
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No, it is NOT selfish. However, it IS natural to feel somewhat guilty about this. It is also natural that some people, who have never experienced what you are currently experiencing, NOT to understand this. The difference between compassion and selfish is this: A compassionate person would wish them to go to alleviate THEIR pain and suffering. A selfish person would wish them to go to alleviate his/her OWN pain and suffering.
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No I don't feel it is selfish. I think that once a person has lived to be an older person and become ill they should be able to choose if their life should continue or just be done with it. I think a law should be passed to allow a death of an older person. And in some cases younger people if the suffering it to the point of having to be medicated and "out of it" due to the medication. (((HUGS))) to my GREAT and caring friend, Scrappy! You are so very compassionate and an awesome lady!!! +5
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I have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order for my S/O. If such a circumstance were to happen, I would carry that order out, not out of selfishness, but out of love and compassion. I would, however, be deeply saddened. I, too, have directed a loved one, my Nephew, to carry out my DNR at the time he feels such would be appropriate. My deepest condolences to you, Scrappy. +5
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There is a lot of needless guilt and pain in the world arising from a simple misunderstanding: We cannot deal with things the way we want them to be however much we may want to, we have to deal with things they way they are. A person in a lot of suffering is a burden to everyone around them. If it goes on for a long time the people being burdened will all eventually want it to end. It doesn't matter how much we love them, it's still a sacrifice, and sometimes a big one. So the answer is, yes you are selfish, you're tired of it and you want your life back. Anyone else in the same position would feel the same way. There's no shame in it. Just be the best person you can be under the circumstances and keep going.
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I don't think it is selfish to want someone's suffering to end. It seems the survivors are the ones left with feelings of guilt & remorse when they lose a loved one to a terrible disease.
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It is pity, not selfishness.
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not at all - they as well as all the people who love that person would be better off
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I don't think it's selfish to not want someone to suffer. I recall vividly how much my own father suffered when he was dying of cancer. I didn't want to lose him, but it was so hard to see him in so much agony, especially since there was nothing I could do to ease his pain, except make sure his morphine drip was still working. Even though it was devastating to lose him, knowing he was no longer in pain was a comfort.
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No. I think alot of times people who are sick hold on longer than they should because of the people they are worrying about that they have to leave behind. If someone if suffering I think it is important to tell them that you love them and let them know somehow that it is ok for them to go. ++
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No it is not selfish. When my mother was dying it was all I could do not to just hold a pillow over her face and end her agony at the end. I didn't do it...but I sure thought about it. Not for my sake but for hers...there was no hope and she was just in pain and chocking to death......
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Not at all. I think you are being unselfish. My mom died of cancer in 1999. She was in a great deal of pain and discomfort. There was a procedure that could be done--very invasive and painful--that would let her live another day. I had the power of attorney--her youngest of 8! Although I consulted with the doctors and my family, of course, I had to make the decision to let her go. Til this day (10 years later), I still feel the sadness of having to let go of her, but happy with my decision.
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