As a child I received spankings, and I think it is an appropriate way to discipline children. No striking, punching, or slapping.. just spankin em on the butt will do.

No. In this family, we do not hit people, even if we don't like something they've done. That is not the behavior I choose to model for my children.

Yes I do.

Well, this must be more psychological than physical punishment. I once knew a wonderful mother who raised her childr so - she said to her hyperactive child when she caught him, that if he wont stop be naughty right now she will spank him. She said it twice or three times and every time a bit angrier. If he did not stop, she gently spanked him and he was so ashamed that he never did that again. Well, but those kids have a lot of naughty ideas..

A mild hand slapping **maybe** (or butt swat) if it is very mild, perhaps. But I think it has been proven to not be any more effective than other methods, and introduces pain and a form of violence or abusive behavior to the child at a young age, which I doubt is healthy at all. Since I was abused badly as a child I would never do that to a child of mine.

No, absolutely not. Firstly, I do not want to teach my children that hitting someone else is ok. Self-defense is one thing, but giving them the idea of physical punishment of others isn't something I wish to do. Secondly, I believe that children have rights, too. That includes the right to not be struck. Thirdly, I wish to teach my children morals and ethics beyond, "Don't do that, because you will be hit." I think that hitting is a cop-out taken by the lazy. Understanding your children, teaching them, talking to them takes more time, effort, and patience, but I think it is well worth it.

Yes, as long as it is not abused. Only used spankings when he hurt others or put himself in danger though.

I do not believe that there is ever a justified reason to hit your child. All that this will ever do is teach them to be good when you are looking and seek out better ways to not get caught. My mother beat me to the point of hospitalization and I never stopped doing the things that she believed to warrant such abuse. However, just going for a long drive with my dad and sitting out on the balcony drinking cocoa with him until midnight made a lasting impact on my moral compass. The point is, TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!!!! They will remember it and even have something to pass down to the next generation.

Oh yes. our children knew that when they did something wrong, that the butt spanking was forthcoming. did it work? it sure did. how do i know? my children have told my wife and i that it did. We would let our children go to the backyard and pick a switch off a tree. this, in itself, was punishment, to let them chose thier punishment vehicle. Time out is a joke, according to my grown children. standing in the corner only gave them time to discover what they did wrong to be caught and not to do that again. Spanking is good for children. when children need punishment and do not receive it, it makes them believe they have not been bad, at all. this also comes from my grown children. You can use all the psychological mumble jumble in the world on children. Only a spanking makes a lasting impression.

ABSOLUTLY!my name is jason and i am 16, as a older child i have noticed the tremendous respect i have in my parents because they diciplined me when i was wrong. sure some others may see this punishment as a cruel and abusive form of correction, but i ask you as a concerned adult and a protective parent do you wish to have control over your child or do you want to be buddy buddy with him/her and have them walking over you? In time your child will understand that such a punishment was approriate.

Yes. But only rarely, when very much needed. I think I got spanked about 5 times growing up, maybe less.

When all else fails, that will usually get their attention.

No. There are better ways to 'discipline' your children - although even the concept of 'disciplining' and 'punishing' children is a little sinister. They are children, not criminal masterminds. I was brought up by a lot of different people, and the worst of them all was the one who just knocked us around because she was too lazy to do anything else. The best were the ones that talked to you, made you understand what you had done, and made you regret it and not want to do it again, all without needing to hit you. That is parenting.

i did and still do unfortuanatley i was took to court and charged for hitting my son and he is getting out of hand the police accuse me of not having control over my teenager you just cant win folks.

As a young child an occasional "butt swat is necessary. After a certain age, there is no good use for it...other concequences must be the answer.

yes i do. as a child i was spanked until i was 18 and i am none the worse for it. an occasional hand or hairbrush spanking never does any harm. I believe that spanking (when used and not abused) can be a very efficient way of dealing with bad behaviour.

Absolutely not. You are bigger than they are, not need to spank, spanking is just laziness. example: My daughter threw her blocks around, I picked her up and took her to her bed, sat her there, told her why, stayed with her, she cried, hugged her, told her why I took out of that situation, brought her back to the blocks, threw them again, took her back to her bed, explained again why, she cried, after awile, brought her back, no longer threw them around. It works, same for whatever. Take them out of the situation, take the time to deal with it, they will learn, be committed, violence is never a solution

ABSOLUTELY!!!! This is the ONLY method of discipline that my children have responded to, having tried time-outs, reasoning, rewards, etc. and I will continue to endorse it and support those who choose to do so!

I don't see anything wrong with it. I was spanked when I was a child and I think it helped to mold me into the person I am today. I think there is a fear that comes with the spanking. Its knowing that your actions decide if you get that spanking. I have two boys of my own, and at first I didnt believe I should spank them. They are my kids and I didnt want to see them hurt. I noticed that telling them no and dont do that didnt seem to work, infact my older son was walking all over me. We decided to give him time outs, and when a time out didnt work and he went right back to doing what ever he just had a time out for then it was a spanking. I think now he respects me more and hes come to understand the things that get him in trouble. I also think its more then punishing the bad behavior. I think when they do some thing good, you need to make a big deal over that too. Negitive attention can seem better than no attention.

No. Not ever.

NO, NO, NO! My husband whipped our two oldest children and I did not. I'll always believe that that led to some of their adult lives' emotional and physical problems and lack of positive self esteem. HANDS OFF! Every child of every age is too precious to hit in any way. Here is my answer to a similar question: A leather belt was used by my mother and his own belt was used by my Dad....sometimes his had a metal end on it. The only other 'corporal' punishment was a slap to the face. NO, NO. I do not think that in any way it made me a better adult. I know that it did not make my older brother a better adult because he used corporal punishment on his sons and worse on 2 of his 3 wives---"the third wife laid down the law" so he never hurt her physically when he was drinking. (In every way he acted out at his family as an alcoholic just LIKE our father did. My younger sister was 'spanked', beaten, more than once with a belt and there is no doubt that it DID NOT make her a better adult. In fact, it led her to hate herself, have very poor self image, believed that she was no good in every way and she could never find peace with/from God. Her 2 worst "spankings" beatings with a belt were: at age 7 by our young 24 yr "saintly" mother; and, at age 17 by our father. Nobody remembers why she was 'spanked for doing something wrong" at age 7. I remember every blow and the yelling at her and her fighting to get away from mother's hold on her with one hand and swinging the belt with the other.At age 8, I was powerless as were my brothers, age 6 and 9. At age 17 in 1957, she still lived at home aand bought a car after getting a great job after her June 1957 graduation. Most Saturday nights she and a girl friend would go to a movie, bowling, skating, and similar activities that were available to teenagers in the 1950's over 30 years before the sexual revolution and ease in buying beer, and the use of heroin primarily in the NE U.S. One night she and her girl friend did not just 'drag' (as in the movie, "American Graffitti" that was filmed at the favorite drive-in, round, at one of the street that was crowded by teenagers every Fri and Sat nights) the street and yell at the boys, but they left town and drove 60-plus miles away AND she arrived home at 8:00 a.m. When she opened the front door father demanded that she go to her room...our mother and I were in the kitchen and, as at age 9, I could only listen to her screams because my interference at 18 would just have meant that he would become even more angry and beat me too. Same for our mother. (That evening she called our grandmother and was on the plane to travel 5 states away the very next morning.) What he had done: Made her remove her clothing all except bra and panties, used his stiff narrow belt with a metal end to beat on her so hard so long. The incident was not mentioned by our parents. You see, he had decided that she was out there having sex with one or more boys---being liki him probably several times a week when at his favorite bar owned by the woman he had slept with for several years before alcohol killed him at 47. How "in God's green earth" could those 'spankings' have made her a better adult. She never spanked her own kids who are 3 fine adults now. She died at 57. God was merciful for she was happy one minute and dead the next, before her son could walk around the table, when an anyourism broke in the front of her head. Sadly, the laws making such treatment Child Abuse did not come until the 80's. I realize that some adults can bury such memories so deed that they do not realize the power those buried feelings have on their adult lives.

HELL-O? TRY CONSISTENT, LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES. How can you tell your child that hitting is wrong if you spank him? Spanking is for lazy, ignorant parents who refuse to, or who do not know how to, use other techniques such as positive reinforcement, or the removal of a reinforcer. WISEJENN

Yes, I'm sorry but I do... I see so many children now a days with little if any respect for anyone - they are wild and lack any sort of discipline - the other day a little boy no older than nine bucked in front of my car - literally jumped in front of it and then back again and laughed....When I was coming up children weren't so out of hand or control... and no, I am not speaking of abuse - there is a difference and we as adults know it....

My parents spank me hard core

Ouch...my parents still whack me with the wooden spoon. It hurts like hell. Still, i dunno, it may be true that discipline is the key to success!(??) :) lol

yes, i love it. It's very kinky.

The only thing I have used for spanking was when my kids and g/daughter were little was if they crossed the street without looking...I wanted to leave a message. Anything else got some serious time out.

Yes, Why? Have you been a bad girl?

Their is a difference between spanking to abuse and spanking to discipline. Spanking to discipline, we do. Spare the rod, spoil the child. If a child is running to the road and a car is coming, when a parent says STOP he/she better stop. If the child know the next words are going to be I'm counting to 3 they are going to keep on running.

My mother spanked me but I'm not sure I'd want to spank my kids (if I had any). Probably if it was really necessary I would but I'd prefer not to.

i don't believe in discipling children using violence. if anything we can see that violence promotes more violence and causes severe phsycological wounds. parents need to learn other methods of disciplining without resorting to violence. afterall we don't want our children to think that violence solves problems, do we?

I was spanked as a child, so when I became a parent I thought it was how you did things. I didn't do it often & I quickly quit. It didn't feel right, & the reactions were wrong. I didn't want to alienate them, hurt them, or put them in a fighting mood. Also, I've had to fight some insecurities that I believe spanking created. And I wasn't beaten, only spanked. I've seen so many kids, with parents that are too tough, start lying to the parents.

You know, this is an area of debate for a long time. I, personally, was whipped as a child, but I believe that the way that my parents did it actually is a lot more effective than some parents that I have seen done it. I have seen some parents just start spanking their child as a norm. I think this is the real problem. For me, a spanking was a big punishment; something that was done when I did something very bad. My parents made sure that they told me that this was for that situation, and that they loved me very much, and that this was to help me. And I highly agree now. The physical pain mixed with the emotions and punishment really would drive the point home. But now, I see people just spank their child without explaining the situation to them. They just use it as a correction tool as opposed to an emotional tool that it can be. If you are hitting your children in anger, that is a problem. It should not be a result of your anger, it should be a result of what you think would be best for the child. The child should always become before the parent. Of course, I don't have children (I'm a little young for that) but most of my experience and ideals come from being a kid myself. I guess someone with parental experience can make a rebuttal and say that it's not as easy as it seems to use spanking as a reaction to anger, but I really think it's irrelevant to say that it is hard. What is important is that the child knows that what they did is bad, and that their parents are emotionally involved in the spanking, and not just striking out in anger. I believe that is what really brings children to strike their parents as opposed to just the act of spanking as many anti-spanking people have claimed.

ABSOLUTELY NOT! I HATE people who beat their kids (spanking IS beating, whether you do it soft or hard, it's beating a child and you SICKEN me.) If I ever found out my partner did that, I'd cease to love them. Instantly. Beating children is an ancient, barbaric, STUPID practice that should have long since died out... Beating an adult is criminal, beating a child is criminal, but beating 'your children' is apparently not... Think about it, it's stupid, it's brutish, and anyone who does it should try to distance themselves from society and live in shame. ***** Now, of course, I am not accusing anyone of anything, so please don't act like I am.

I don't believe in violence when it's avoidable.

Hell yes, I believe in whipping, ass whippings, spankings, & what-ever else. If my child was to step-out of line, especially being dis-repectful..I'm kicking ass w/ full throttle. who cares if people will call it "Abuse". If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for all kids.

When children are small a spanking on the bottom does no harm. When you can reason with them, then you take things away.......NEVER hit any person in anger.oooops I did it again, +5

i do believe that a bottom spanking is a good way to get the point across! using anything more than your hand or the wooden spoon can be mentally affecting to a child. I am 17 and get threatend with it alot but only occasionally will i get one. it is embarrassing if you get asked to pull your pants down but when your little it is ok. do you think i'm too old to get a bare bottom spanking or is 17 and 18 an ok age?

Yup I sure do, I think there is no punishment that means the same thing as a swat on the butt. My kids know I love them and it is NOT a beating.

Yes. I also believe that some parents could use a good spanking these days.

Spanking is relative. Some parents just do a couple of firm swats on the butt after plenty of warnings that they'll get spanked if they continue misbehaving, it establishes a consistent connection between behaviour and consequence; most American parents I know (I live here so its all I know) just beat their children in anger because they're all so broken and scared and repressed they can't think straight. My aunt Teyea would soak a leather belt in alcohol and make you pray to God for forgiveness while she beat you black and blue.

sometimes

I think a bare hand spanking meant to hurt the feelings, not the butt is okay. It should never be done in anger. Don't over use it or the meaning will be diminished.

Absolutely.

Sometimes spanking is the only thing that works. Seriously. I have 2 boys who will just continue to do what they were told not to do repeatedly and punished for in various other ways, over and over again. They will not listen until they get that warning swat on the behind. I don't mean a beating, just a swat, so they know I really mean what I'm telling them.

No I dont believe in spanking any kids? its harsh and mean?

Yep every kid needs their ass lit up once in a while.

Yes I do as long as it's done lovingly. I had three boys and although this wasn't a regular occurence, it did happen. I honestly think that it hurt me a lot more than them, but it was needed.

I am blessed with the voice of James Earl Jones......so it is rarely necessary to do more than raise or sharpen my voice;)

I'd get thrown in jail every other week almost if I had to discipline a child of mine like I was disciplined.

Yes, if done with good judgement and only when necessary. I recieved very few as a child and have given very few as a father but there are times it is very appropriate. Too many people today have this politically correct idea that somehow spanking is beating a child, or equate it to violence. This has created a multitude of ill-behaved children with no discipline. I see it all the time.

My wife and i believed in spanking and gave out plenty to our children, when they were home. did it work? yes. Children expect discipline from their parents. my granddaughter told me that if she did not receive punishment for a bad deed, then she thought her grandparents did not love her. go figure! We spanked our children, but only beneath their rear end. a swat on the butt, did wonders. Standing in the corner, time out, and other psychological mind games, do not work. it only gives the child time to evaluate what they did wrong and how not to get caught the next time. How do i know this? it came right out of the mouth of my children and grandchildren.

yes. and i think i turned out good . you can only tell them to stop so many times.

Yes, Firstly, theres a big difference between a smack and a hit. I would only smack the bottom with an open hand whilst they have clothes on. Also it is only one of a number of discpline steps. I gave my four year old a pat on the bum the other day. It was a wake up and pay attention call, hey I'm talking to you, yes, you've done something wrong. It wasn't hard, it didn't make him cry and was almost funny as him jumped, not realising what was about to happen. We then sat down and chatted about what was unacceptable, how to behave, what we should do to correct the situation and what discpline he would have to face. He was happy with the whole thing, did what was asked and behaved quite well after. There was an equal amount of positive talk and feedback about job well done too. Encouragement for the good, teaching for the "not so good" and a soft smack on the bottom for "hey, you've stepped over the line"

well, in the words of CPS,..if you parents out there don't start teaching the children when they are still young and impressionable, we are going to have a lot more juviniell delinquints rather than well-adjusted, intelligent, motivated, and yes,loved children. If you love them, detere their stubborn streaks or outbreaks of defiance with a lasting impression on their memory. It dosen't require a beatdown if done early in life. Unfortunately for me i learned this 1 child too late, but i still think he is great. CPS also taught me that in a boys case the mom can do the discipline until the child turns about 14 years old. after that the male childs loyalty mentally changes from the mother to the father. After that the father should be the disciplinary. Boy, if only i knew that one 5 years ago!

Not at all. We use verbal discipline only with our daughter. In my opinion, there is no reason to ever use physical punishment on a child.

I grew up with it and I think it's fine. Not beating the kid up with an aluminum pipe, or choking him/her to death, but simply spanking and the young age seems fine.

I've tried the time-outs and naughty corners......when that doesn't work, a good old fashion spanking always does the trick.

Sure do. I'm not one to spank my children often, unless you count a slap of the hand every now and again, but I am not against another parent using the method for there own children.

Umm....would that be for myself or my child...lol...just kidding *smile* All kidding aside, yes, I think a little swat for something very serious is in order sometimes.

Absolutely. It's a lost art.

yep! when i was young i was a child of 4 and if one of us did soemthing wrong then we would be punished. we are all fine today. and dont hate our parents for it. and there is nothing wrong with it really, it teaches the kid a valuble lesson.

oh wow ummmm i suppose so as long as the spanking doestn go any farther, give the child some discipline but dont take it too far as where you scar them physcially or mentally. but if the "crime" that they commited is like small then hell no dont hit the kid...

Yes. So did Donald Trump's parents and he turned out O.K.

Overeasy240, There is nothing wrong with a good old fashion spanking. I raised 3 boys and I spanked them. They tell me now that it made them a better man. Also, one of the 3 boys is actually my stepson, that I raised since he was 7 yrs old. His father spanked him one time and his ex wife called social services on him. They came here and talked with us and told us that there is nothing wrong with spanking your children. For us to not stop the way we were raising our children, they would end up being better men. This turned out to be true.

I think that you should spank your children when they need it. I am a firm believer in the saying "spare the rod, spoil the child".

I see no problem with a spanking on the rear end using hands only ....it worked for my generation and 99.9999% of us turned out just fine

Absolutely. At a young age children will remember pain for a long time, I think that there is a time and a place for spanking but it didnt take me long to figure out that words are a 2 way game and spanking is law. Personally I was not spanked many more than a handfull of times, but I remember each and every one of them, and that is why I believe it is necessary up until a certian age.

definitely. I believe if we let our children get away with misbehaving, that somewhere down the line, we will lose control of them, maybe they will start spanking us-lol

yeah i think its ok if its not like huge huge spanking and like not so embarasing cause for me its also embarasing thing to

Sure do! Seriously...time outs...give me a freakin break!

yes(for boys only).

not if there is a non-violent technique that achieves the same result

Nope.

Yes, absolutely.

I totally believe in it. I received a fair amount of spankings when i was little and I'm fine today. And today I know I deserved it every time LoL... But let me ask you somehing back...I'm not from the U.S. but I was told in the U.S. one could get arrested when you for example spank your child at walmart...is that true?

I believe in spanking but I"m not too sure about that "good old fashioned' part. If it was done in anger with no explanation no absolutely not. But if the child knows beforehand what the penalties are and if there is teaching, and if the spanking part is done when all parties are calm and not angry, yes. It's called consequences and works fro some children, not all. ONly when done in a reasonable way, with teaching and understanding is spanking in any way discipline.

Yep. That's what I grew up with. And I think it does a lot better job than today's methods of "discipline".

I don't think there are many times when it's appropriate to use spanking as a punishment. If a child's in trouble for the sort of mistake that could happen to anyone at their age, then spanking is nothing if not traumatic and sends the message that it's not okay to make mistakes sometimes. And even if they're in trouble for something malicious and really do "Deserve It", there's still the question of what exactly you're teaching them with violent punishment. If you just give the child a spanking for punishment, all you're really teaching them from their mistake is "What you did was wrong, and when you do wrong authority will punish you", which only encourages blind obedience and dependence on authority over true, independent accountability and understanding of right and wrong. And if the spanking *Does* come with a thorough explanation of what they did wrong, then is the spanking really necessary at all? The only times I'd consider violent discipline of any kind even remotely appropriate is when the child is extremely unruly and simply needs to be shown that they *Do* need to be accountible for their own actions. Otherwise, it's good for nothing but inflicting trauma and giving loads of very bad impressions about life.

Of course I believe in spanking. Kids have to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Swift punishment can sometimes make all the difference in a child's mind. Contrary to what some believe, you can't "talk" your kids into behaving. Time outs only work for a day or two, then the kids think, "Wow, this all the punishment I get for cutting my sister's hair? Sitting down for a few minutes?" More important is how you handle the punishment. Don't spank in anger and ALWAYS let your kids think over the punishment, then talk to them so it is clear why they were punished and why what they did was wrong. Teach them empathy. Teach them to think about their actions so they learn from their mistakes, and to think before they act. Also, once they get to a certain age, such as 8 or 9, spanking does not hold as much power as when they are younger. Start withholding their favorite items instead. It will make a bigger impact to take away their playstation than to spank them.

oh yea I see kids sometimes in public that would benefit from a swat but their parents are afraid to do it cuz they don't don't want to be accused of abuse

I do. It has been proven not only to exist, but cause some serious debates amoung parents. My son is two, and I still think he is too young for spanking, but we will probably switch over to them as he gets older.

I think that it really depends on what they have done. I am going through some serious issues with my 3 sons. My oldest is 10, my middle is 7, and my youngest is 6. Yeah hands are full sister...lol! Everyone keeps telling me to swat their butts but I dont want to. However time out aint workin. If they have games and a tv in their room remove it. It helps for a little while.

Yep! Sometimes it's all they understand...time outs make them laugh sometimes...I have boys and they need a swat on the bum every now and again, but it is not a regular thing.

yes!

Oh my god i cant believe my eyes.. So many spank their poor kids. First of all, what you are teaching them is that violence is ok. You are making them scared of you instead of respecting you! Children are not being "bad" or "naughty" to hurt you. They are learning and reacting. Many tantrums are the results of hunger or tiredness. You are their leader, their hero, the one they really look up too and love unconditionally. When they do something you dont agree with show them how its supposed to be done. Keep calm and try not to raise your voice, otherwise they will quickly learn to shout as well! I was never spanked in any way. My mum just had to change her tone of voice and i knew i was wrong. I would never hit anyone let alone a small child who is innocent. YOU are the adult, behave like one!

HELL NO ITS ONLY FOR GROWNUPS... GO TO WWW.NOSPANK.NET

I am not against "swatting" a kid on the tush, although I never have been able to do it. I admit I have a very tough time doing this because when growing up, the "swat" on the tush escalated to a "wack" on the head, to then being thrown against a wall, etc. So I don't even want to start. I think it depends whether you can do this with self-discipline and not out of anger. I know my weaknesses. I don't believe that a "spanking" is abuse or the same as hitting.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child." When it's deserved, the child should be put in his/her place. As a child I got beat when I deserved it. AND I DID deserve it! I was hit by my parents and teachers - not in an abusive way, but to teach me a particular lesson at that particular time. FYI: I wasn't an abusive parent. I never hit my daughter in an abusive manner. Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: Because you asked "THE University of Hard Knocks" also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons"

Only my boyfriend. Never with kids. Just re-inforces violence, I admire the Mom's I see that let their kids just LOSE IT in the check out because they have said no to something, and the kid wants to make a scene, after awhile they stop making the scenes. I just think that it's like giving up and throwing out everything you have, there are plenty of ways ( too many to count ) to punish.

NO. It makes a child have bad self esteem.

Yes...both for misbehavin' children and certain misbehavin' women;-)

I do - freely among like-minded adults and with children, a spanking is fine to reinforce a message. but note, there is an easily discernable line between a spanking and a beating. Too many adults beat their children and call it "spanking" -

YEAH BABY! Now bend over....

i dont agree with spanking children as i used to get it when i was small and it wasnt nice i dont want my children to go through the same as me but if the have been realy bad like try to hurt each other badly then yes they do but its not ver offten i do smack them i sometimes think thats why their spoilt lol

If the parents really care for kids, they need to make them understand why they believe what the kid has done is wrong. If punishment is given in this light (And the kid understands this), yeah, a few light pats would help. Otherwise, spanking or any other kind of punishment would only make the child be more careful not to get caught the next time.

As a last resort only. I rarely spank mine unless she does something really wrong.

No, and I don't apologize for that to anyone.

Yes I do believe in discipline. If some parents would discpline their children then they would not run wild like they do.

Yes, heck it worked for me....if your not goin to listen show authority...but theres a line. You should know that "line" by common sense.