ANSWERS: 7
  • You can't control grandma, of course. But you can put in a good word for respect and consideration of the granddaughter. How will grandma feel in 5 years if the relationship is solid and they keep coming over for Christmas dinner? Nobody is telling her she has to give up her beliefs, but if she tries to force the issue by making a "public statement" about something she has no power over, the best she'll do is alienate her family. Nobody listens to those kinds of "messages".
  • Tell her they're not gonna call off the wedding just because she doesn't go. She may end up regretting this decision for a very long time. If nothing else, tell her attending the wedding doesn't mean she supports it.
  • Explain to grandma that all you are asking of her is to continue to love and support her grandchild. Nothing more.
  • Throw around as much support as you can. That's showing your point of view in championing your niece and her partner. I am sure this means very much to your niece. You can't change how your mother feels, or why she feels that way (unfortunately). But you can be unwavering in how you personally choose to act and can certainly control your own choices.
  • Going to the wedding doesn't mean she has to support gay marriages, only that she's supporting her granddaughter. Hopefully grandma has met the "great person" your niece is marrying and likes her, too. I'm sure she's happy that her granddaughter is happy. And, maybe if she hears the words spoken, she may understand. I'm not sure if I'm for or against, but if my sons or grandkids were gay and wanted to get married, I'd certainly be there.
  • I agree with you. If at all possible please try & convince your mom to go, I'm afraid she'll regret it if she doesn't
  • If she can still love and support her, then no problem. Asking her to go is forcing her to ignore her belief, but asking her to love is just askign her to her job. Your neice also has to udnerstand that there are people who don't agree with what she's doing, while it sucks, she should realize that her grandma still loves her. try to talk to your mom about it and see if she'll go to the reception afterwards or still give a wedding gift.

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