Is it really that bad to not want to be tied down by marriage? Men that think this way always seem to be labeled as either losers, players, or something else not positive. What's so bad about that freedom?
by 
Blackberry.
ANSWERS: 43
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It's not bad, just a personal choice. I prefer a man who is honest and would eventually let me know that he's not the marriage type. Marriage is not for everyone the sooner a person recognizes that the better it is for all involved.
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I don't think that being married should make someone feel tied down.....there should still be some type of freedom. So, I don't think that it is healthy to feel that a spouse is taking away freedom from another.
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Having been burned once on the marriage/divorce pire, you quickly learn that by staying away from that institution, you can keep your sanity, your independence and, most importantly, your finances in order
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It's all good. Women made it seem that way because they're complicated and emotionally unstable. There's nothing wrong with being free. Marriage is a trap, especially after you have kids.
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Please remember that you, and only you have control over how you feel. If being "tied down" is how you feel about marriage (or the prospect of marriage), then by all means, don't get married (or do get divorced). If you want a relationship in which you are "free", then find a partner who is compatible with this idea. If you are going to honor your own sense of "freedom", then remember to honor your partner's sense of responsibility, however it may be expressed. There is nothing either good nor bad about any relationship, other than how the parties decide to feel about it. So if you decide to feel that a relationship is constricting, either change your own attitude or break the relationship. To me, this is not something that is either good or bad.
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Well ive been with my partner for fourteen years and have a 12 year old daughter with him but the thought of marrige scares me to death even though hes given me no reason to feel this way ,i dont think men are any of the above just cause they dont want to get married.
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One thing you will notice is it's seldom the free condemning freedom. More often, it's those who want to enslave them. I might add that it isn't just men who worry about giving up their freedom. One of today's quotes on Google was from Lynda Barry, who wrote: "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." That said, surveys show married people tend to be happier and live longer than singles.
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Nothing. Marriage is better for some people and not for others. There is a difference, however, about being HONEST about not wanting marriage and leading another person on so that you (not you but the general "you") can have a long term sexual partner without losing that freedom. The dishonesty is what makes the man a "dog". As long as BOTH partners want the same things, it's not a big deal. Informed consent makes all the difference.
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Marriage is just a control mechanism emplaced by society to enforce behavior modification. Ignore the sheeple and live your life the way you want.
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There is nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, it is better to know that you want to be free than to marry someone for the wrong reasons. +
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I don't there's anything wrong with not marrying. It may just be that most people wonder at first look if there is something uncompatable about you because you haven't been able to find a mate, even if you are not looking for one.
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I agree. I was married once, it was the worst 3 years of my life. I am not some playboy or player or whatever, I have been with my s/o for almost 10 yrs, but I just think the institution of marriage is obsolete and useless...it brings nothing to my relationship that I don't already have...and the only thing it does bring is legal binding entitlement to half of my stuff and ensured costs in court should the marriage dissolve. NEither myself nor my s/o feel marriage is beneficial to anyone but courts, lawyers and people looking to claim half of someone's estate in a divorce.
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It's bad if you really love someone and you never want to get married. Why not?
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I don't think there is anything wrong with it, but if you get serious with someone, be upfront about it! There are plenty of women that feel the same way, but it is not fair to lead a woman to believe it could happen one day, when you never have any intention of marrying. If you are honest, she can either accept it, or decide she will move on, if marriage is what she desires, but I personally do not find anyone like that is a loser or player. Just don't lie. ;-)
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It's obviously not for everyone, but if you find it suits you, go for it. : )
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Absolutley NOTHING
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Marriage and commitment are two different things. Personally, marriage is just the legal side of a relationship so if you don't want to get married, then don't.
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I think not wanting to get married is just fine. At least you know what you want. It would suck more to get married and your wife have to put up with all your bs, cause you just aren't the marriage type... you know? If you know you dont want to...DON'T!!!
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Nope.
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Before I was married I probably would of thought you were a player.Now that I've been married I would say absolutely nothing wrong W/ that,I would never do it again.
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youll grow old alone, or with friends, or a virgian but theres nothing wrong with it.
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Im 31, my mum & dad are married, mum said to me that in her day it was a sin not get married & the whole kids lot. But like she says this day and age its only a piece of paper and if something goes wrong then you are goingf to have trouble. Now, my auncle has been with his ladyfriend which I call my aunty since they have been together when i was a tot, ok maybe the odd argument here and there but don't all people have their moments. I think marriage is unimportant provided that you are REALLY well and truly commited to that one person you love.
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Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all.
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Its not bad at all. Its a life style choice that is only really just becoming acceptable, but its the same for women.
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It sounds to me like a man that knows what he wants (or doesn't want) and doesn't have a label. Free spirited or just living life the way he sees it. One that wouldn't pressure some unwilling gal into a marriage. No harm, no foul...as long as he's upfront about it, it's all good.
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It's only "bad" insofar as you father children and leave them to the mercies of your girlfriend to raise. In my book that's dispicable.
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Nothing !! You have every right to not want to be married, I don't blame you one bit. I was married once and believe me.....highly over-rated. The legal BS involved is just stupid. Who cares what other people "label" you as? Have fun !
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People today forget that with freedom comes responsibility. Unless you've been 'fixed', you take a chance on impregnating every woman you 'enter'. In essence, you're 'playing' Russian Roulette every time. If you are willing to take that kind of chance with someone else's life, that can easily be seen as the behavior of a 'loser'. Not to mention that you're disrespecting every woman you use that DOES want a future for herself. So -- Have you been neutered yet?
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I don't think it's so bad. I know a lot of people who have been living together for years and have no problem with the fact there hasn't been a wedding. I think when you have kids, that is when it becomes more of an issue.
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No, to each his own thing. Its fine and it should be with everyone else too. That is a private thing . Some are just so into a career they would not have time for anyone else. That is a good call. Some are tired of relationships and just like the dating seen forever. Its your own preferrence. Noone should see anything into it. If they dont understand then maybe they are not your friend. Be yourself and just enjoy your life no matter where you are.
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Nothing wrong with marriage at all. It is we who turned it into something ugly or boring.Marriage is a plan that God made for us as men and women to live to togeather and breed productive God fearing beatiful creatures to establish earth as it should be peaceful and submissive and observant to God's laws. I married my wife 12 yrs ago we have many childern>. We enjoy caring for them and we love eachother and ofcourse sometimes we disagree on issues but that doesn't matter as long as we love each other and as long as we bear in mind the same goals and working to fulfil them. Thanks God for everything we have.
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People are stupid if they think we're losers for showing no interest in marriage. Marriage is a trap.
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Nothing. If that's where you want to be, ignore any snide or implied comments or "helpful" suggestions aiming to change your mind. It's your life and some people always seem to want to make others fit their prejudices. You can live your life squeezed into a corner of other people's expectations or you can decide to be comfortable with who you are and how you want to live. It just takes a bit of courage and occasional use of blinkers and earplugs.
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Sometimes it's good to be unmarried.
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Well, depends. Are you saying you want to be married but you want to have sex with tons of other people or something? Because if that's the case, I'd say you're just not the marrying kind. Nothing wrong with that, some people really just aren't made for marriage.
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Society is baised to women
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I don't think marriage is for everyone, and good for you to be smart enough to recognize you don't have to conform. Its annoying that people think theres something wrong with people who don't want to get married or have kids, I'm not sure why people assume that marriage is a common goal for everyone. Many people have this idea that you go to school get a job get married and have kids and anybody who doesnt is weird or defective in some way. With the divorce rate climbing I don't blame you!
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Some men want to work and save for a period of time, so as to start married life rich, not poor.
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I never mind getting tied down, as long as she undoes the knots and lets me loose when we're done:)
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Prior to the sexual revolution it was advantagious for a man to marry. Most women were chaste and therefore there was the opportunity to have a relationship with a woman that was truly intimate. Post sexual revolution there are no advantages at all. Marriage minded men have been reduced to nothing but security and a paycheck. She has had bigger and better, more passionate and dinamic, better looking and wealthier men before her husband. There is no new frontiers to be explored together. Regardless of the media perception that men are losers, players, or something else not positive, the truth is that women have had three to five times the number of sex partners that their husbands have had when they marry. Marriage is still highly advantagious for a woman, but now there are absolutely no advantages to be gained for a man to wed.The only intimate thing left in marriage is when the husband and wife are trying to figure out what to do about how screwed up your marriage is and how finding out about their mother's sexual past has affected their children.
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My only concern would be whether or not you were breeding and, if so, are you meeting all the responsibilities of a father to your offspring. If no children are involved, you should be free to not marry for as long as you wish.
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No it is not bad...as long as you make that VERY CLEAR to the person you are with at the time. It is wrong to give someone the wrong idea(whether you are male or female)and then smack them in the face with the face that you have absolutely NO INTENTION of ever getting married. BUT(you saw that big ole but coming I am sure: )it is also OK for the other person to say "by-by".. because THEY DO WANT TO GET MARRIED AT SOME POINT IN TIME.
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You should have had this opinion before the money-siphon got her hooks into you and dragged you in front of the judge.
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