ANSWERS: 6
  • Apparently so. Sounds like he's going through some changes. Maybe there'll be a point where you can have a talk with him but right now it might be better to give yourself some time away from the situation. Work on your life and possibly meeting someone else- who will treat you better.
  • yes, they really do and its immature and it sucks but...if they change they were always an ass but if they stay the same their there till the end
  • Hmmmm... I've read the two answers here, so far. I'd like to make a point here, though: I don't know the circumstances or the time involved here, but it IS possible that your ex boyfriend's personality seemed to change because the act of losing his virginity under whatever circumstances existed at the time were contrary to his core values, which he developed as he was raised. He could very well be having internal conflicts having to do with going against those core values. He has to come to terms with this, if so. This doesn't mean he's a 'jackass'. A jackass is an inconsiderate, deliberately rude and offensive person. On a personal note, I had some pretty powerful conflicts of my own when I lost MY virginity, though I didn't realize why or their true depths until MANY years later. In particular, I had some issues with guilt for not being married to her at the time, and a tremendous fear of pregnancy. There were other issues as well, but I won't go into them here. Suffice it to say that if this is the case, there isn't anything YOU can do about it. He has to come to terms with it homself. BUT you DO have to find out what is wrong and respect his feelings and whatever may be causing them. And if you can't some to terms? Well, that's why you break up now instead of waiting until you get married in the future or have kids and THEN break up.
  • guys are always changing...their minds. he may have found something he likes and wants to try it from various sources
  • Doubtful and likely you are just seeing more who he really is. Men can be all fun and interesting and nice when they are after us but once they have us they might see no reason they need to keep on with those things. Be glad you found out when you did.
  • Have to agree with answer The Chief gave you. It is not so much that the guy may not be a total jerk. He lost his virginity and decided he was a god. However, it could also be that he is wrestling with his own emotions. It is generally true that men are driven by the need for sex, but they also have other feelings. Men use sex not only for physical gratification, but also when they want to express intense emotions like love and to be affirmed in the feeling that they are loved. Men generally have a miserable time expressing emotions and when they do, they do not always do so in the most productive way. So if he means something to you, give him a chance - being VERY careful about how you talk to him. Choosing the right words - even when he does not - is critical. Better to say, "I miss you and I want to know why you don't seem to miss me..." then to say "Why are you being such a jerk?" Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, and sometimes a jerk is really just an immature self-absorbed jerk. If he is the latter, lose him like a bad habit and don't look back because YOU deserve better. On the other hand, you may discover that when you ask him, he will love you for caring about him and that he is the guy you thought he was. There is no way to know unless you try - and the answer may hurt. However, "The Chief's" answer is the best way to find out.

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