Not sure where we are going, we'll play it by ear, but I'll have her back sometime before next Friday.

Hey, Pops, can I have some condoms?

I taking her out for a little trip, and i'm taking her all the way.

He doesnt have to say anything.If he comes through my door with his hat on like gangster and his pants hanging below his waist he can kiss his ass good-bye,and that will be the only kiss he'll get around my house.

I've pondered this question many a time. I have no kids, don't plan on having them and if I did I would hope that it was a boy, because I know if I had a daughter I would instill fear in every young boy within a 20 mile radius. I would be the overprotective, forbid her to date till she was 30 kind of dad, I just know it. I'm just that way, maybe because I am a guy and I know how guys can be. So if I HAD a daughter and she SOMEHOW was able to get a date and bring him to the house and he ACTUALLY made it past me and my aluminum baseball bat, I would think he better not say anything to me but direct answers to my interrogative questions...and every sentence better end with "SIR"

We wanted to tell you in person that (her name) is a mother to be.

Fuck you

I honestly dont know how people deal with having daughters. Thank God for boys! That being said... Do you have any condoms? We're fresh out.

Nice ass. (I'm a guy)

Wow, you are quite a MILF

i have aids and your daughters a slut, have fun nice meetin ya

she was GREAT last night!

this happened.... she brought him home, we sat down to dinner, we passed him the food, he passed it without taking any and said, "i don't like that" we never saw him again

i hope to see more of you. i'll sure be seeing more of your daughter.

I love that gray hair of yours.

"I see where she gets her looks. Pop's got some premium juice stewin' around in the old flesh balloon down there, eh. Can I take this tie of, or what?.... So, anyway, what can we expect in the way of droopage later, are we talking a gentle slope, or the full blown egg whites hangin' on a nail thing?" The quote as best as I can remember it from when Peter Griffin meets Lois' father, Mr. Pewterschmidt, in Family Guy. If anyone can find the exact quote, that'd be awesome.

Your daughter is one of the best lays I've ever had.

I kocked that bitch up last night, and hey i got crabs, were going to get married in a week and ohh yah I'm 35 and shes 16

i dont have one but if that happened i would take him into another room where only me and him can here and i would say that little girl your taking out tonight is my love and joy and if you think about kissing or hugging just remember one thing.... i got no problum going back to jail.

sorry about... that she was trying to give me some on the way here!

"So ma, What do ya say you join your daughter and me in a nice bubble bath later?"

*Suprised Look* "What a coincidence I remember when I dated your mom back in high school" Hahaha

Oh we've met before!!

if i had a daughter from adoption of course and she did this. the worst thing he could say is: "dont worry pops, i'll wear a condom".

I'm not sure that anyone can yet invent "worst possible", but here are some to choose from: "Dad? Is that you? Holy cow, this is going to be complicated!" "She's pregnant, but her other boyfriend and I aren't sure whose it is, so we're both deciding to dump her. She's yours now." "I don't think I have AIDS any more." "Can you lend us some money for an abortion? The cops confiscated my cash during the raid last week."

"Sir, this is a fine daughter you have here. Not only is she hot, but she's FANTASTIC in bed. *wink wink*"

"Sir, your daughter is very well mannered and *trained*... by the way your bed is sooo soft... its great for all kinds of positions..." =)

I can see where your daughter gets her ass from, bet you've got a tight one too

Hi, my names O.J Simpson.

Didn't we do it on the back seat of my pick up truck at so and so's party the other night?

I don't think you're that fat!

I didn't have any daughters. My wife had a couple, but there was nothing she's said that any boys said to her. However, after she moved up with me, one of her daughters called, trapped in her car by her ex-boyfriend who kept trying to get in. I was ready to gather my two boys, go down with my baseball bat, and find out what the guy what he could do with two broken elbows and maybe a broken knee. What's something bad a guy could say (if we had teenage daughters): "My professor says this young stuff is great, and I've found it to be true! She's FANTASTIC." "Do you have a speculum?" "When she emailed me those nudes, I KNEW she'd be good." "Where'd she learn to swallow like that?" "You know? We made a porn, posted it, and it's #1 with a bullet!"

Anything, really.

"Wow your HOT"

"Sir, i am in love with your daughter. i will admit that i am 30 years older than her and that i am a married man. will this have any bearing on me dating your 17 year old daughter?" That sound you just heard was a 12 gauge shotgun blast.

Your daughter's a sweet lay....

Hello sir! My name is Kobe Bryant.

I'm not signing this.... Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

That he's my daughters boyfriend. Oh yeah...and he's NOT gay...

Will you please touch my penis?

Congrats your a Grandad!

So how much money are you worth?

"Don't worry, sir.. It's huge."

"I like Fender guitars."

Hey, don't I remember you from school?

I'll pay for the baby $50 do! Means I go without my cocaine for a night but what the hell! Not like I'm going to see the sprog again eh!! Shall I pour?

(boyfriend makes a comment to girlfriends mom) Whats for dinner bitch? lol